50 Shades . . . Been there, done that . . .

This won't be a post on my adventures in the world of sexual deviancy . . . by "been there, done that" I'm referring to humanity's age-old mishandling of good and evil.  This is nothing new, just shinier packaging.  Inside this movie is the same old thing - evil, disguised as tantalizing but harmless, ready to taint your mind, your heart, your soul and your relationships.  

The title clearly states where the author is taking you - there is no right and wrong, no good and evil, no black and white - only shades of gray.  This has been the lie we have fallen for from the beginning.  And anyone who has tested the boundaries of this lie can tell you that there IS right and wrong, good and evil, black and white, and they wish they had never gone there . . . 

They CAN tell you, but they may not be ready to admit it themselves, and instead find themselves posturing and posing, running and talking as fast as they can to prove they weren't wrong, they weren't foolish to trade away their innocence, their trust, their purity.  

What do I want to tell you?  Let me try answering some of the statements I've heard thrown around:

There is no right or wrong - no one can tell anyone else what they should or shouldn't do.  Really?  Do you realize that this statement contradicts itself?  Essentially, this means it is WRONG for people to say there are standards of conduct; that is it RIGHT for everyone to decide for themselves.

If realizing that entire argument shoots itself in the foot isn't enough for you to disregard it, let's continue a bit.  And let's stay with sexuality.  You would like to accept the premise that everyone has a right to choose what they do, and who they do it with.  OK.  How about an adult with a child?  Is that alright?  If the child says yes, is it ok?  What if we go with the major theme of 50 Shades, and I ask you if it's alright for a man to hurt a woman because it excites him - is that ok?  If she says he can, are you comfortable with it now?  If he says it's for her own good - that he is introducing her to new levels of enjoyment, excitement and experience - should she trust him and go along?  Picture your daughter, your mother, your best friend - are you comfortable imagining them consenting to being whipped, beaten or violated with foreign objects for the sake of a man's pleasure?

I stopped short of really making you uncomfortable, but hopefully I went far enough for you to realize that instinctively you know there are behaviors that are simply wrong.  Motivation, intent, trust, betrayal, honor, dishonor, protection, humiliation, power, control, degradation . . . these all play into sexual conduct.  How we treat each other matters - especially in the most intimate of encounters.

Sexual expression was designed by God to be given and experienced between two people who have committed to love, cherish and honor each other for a lifetime.  In that setting, it is reasonable and safe to expose the deepest part of our being to the person we have come to know is worthy of our trust.  There we can explore together that which excites and creates pleasure, knowing that each of us are protecting the safety and well-being of the other.

What's it going to hurt?  (to watch this movie, to push the boundaries, to take my pleasure wherever and with whomever I choose, etc)  Would you be willing to eat dinner with me if I told you that I'd sprinkled "just a little" arsenic on your serving?  Just a little - not enough to hurt you.  Go ahead.  Enjoy - try something new!  I trust your answer would be no - you know better than to eat something that you KNOW is toxic - no matter how small the amount, you're not willing to take it into your body.  No matter how much I wheedle, cajole, badger, humiliate, shame, hound, tempt or pester you - you'd protect yourself, right?  

Do you know that your body can become desensitized to arsenic?  If it were sprinkled on your food a little at a time, you may get sick at first, but over time, your body would develop a tolerance for it.  If the amount and the frequency of delivery were slowly increased, eventually the accumulation of poison in your body would reach a toxic level and you would die. 

There is the danger.  Think of any behavior that eventually gets distorted beyond recognition, or habitual beyond control.  No one starts out saying "I think I'll gamble away all of our life savings."  "I think I'll drink until all my relationships have been destroyed along with my liver."  "I think I'll have sex so freely that I'll become diseased, bitter, calloused and have no sense of personal worth or value left, and no relationships either."  

What you see, you can't unsee.  Remember the Garden of Eden?  The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil?  Before they ate of it, Adam and Eve were naked as jaybirds and completely comfortable with that.  They were innocent.  They walked in trust and openness and confidence before each other and before God.  Remember the words of the enemy?  Did God really say you shouldn't eat from it?  He's holding out on you!  He knows that when you eat from it, you will become like Him!!!  HE knows good and evil - why shouldn't you?    Remember the first things they did after eating?  They recognized they were naked and made hasty (yet ineffective for the long term) coverings for themselves, and they hid from God.  Great results.  Their innocence is gone.  Their confidence is gone.  Their trust and comfortability - gone.  

There is NOTHING new with sin, people.  Sin ALWAYS takes you farther than you planned to go, keeps you longer than you planned to stay, and costs you far more than you EVER planned to pay.  Trust me.  Been there, done that.  And I love you enough to risk looking like a fool for saying it out loud.  

There IS right and wrong.  There IS good and evil.  There IS black and white.  Yes, there are also shades of gray, but your sexuality is not one of them.  Listen to the language God uses:  Can a man heap coals of fire in his lap and not get burned?  FLEE sexual immorality:  all other sins happen outside yourself - sexuality happens INSIDE you.  Protect your heart.  Guard your soul.  Cherish your body.  Choose who you will serve - and live.

Love yourself enough to use your head.