A letter to my college kid

The world you are living in now is like a step out of time - college is an environment all its own.  There is much to learn and gain there in knowledge and friendship and skills, but there is a built in unreality as well.  You are not at home like you were while growing up, but you're not a self-supporting independent adult either.  Ideas and values and goals and pursuits are swirling around you constantly.  There are highs and lows that span a huge range; you are swimming in a morass of emotional, intellectual, social and logical relativism.  The prevailing tune pulsing through it all is like 17 songs each playing at full volume at once.  You have no idea how strong my urge is to go and grab you and pull you home.

But in many ways our home is similar, just on a toned down scale.  The truth is this is the world man lives in.  It is full of sights, sounds, pursuits, duties, distractions, contrasting and conflicting thoughts, opinions and ideas all seemingly competing for our time and attention and loyalty.  You know the answer to how to survive - and not just survive but thrive - you must anchor and center yourself so you can put down roots and begin to build a life that reflects, supports and promotes your core values.  You must choose who you are, what you will believe, what you will protect and promote, what you will fight and struggle to defend and protect.  Who you are is what is up for grabs in this world.  Sometimes we forget in the midst of all the chaos that who we are is up to us.

Jesus told a parable of two men who each built a house.  The difference was the foundation each chose to use.  One man built his house on the sand; one man built his house on a rock.  The storms came and beat against the houses, and the waters became floods that swirled around them.  The house on the sand never stood a chance - the sand shifted and flowed out from under it and the house collapsed.  The house on the rock remained firm throughout the storms and remained intact after they had passed. This world we live in is both the sand and the storm - the ideas, values, expectations and goals constantly shift just like sand, and things come at us throughout our lives that are beyond our control and beat against us just like the storm and the flood.

Our only sure hope is to anchor ourselves to God.  He is a solid rock, huge, mighty, immovable, unchanging.  You were created by Him as a spiritual being in a human form.  You are meant to be connected to Him in order for any of what you experience to make sense or have meaning, purpose or direction.   You will remain adrift, like a cork bobbing in the sea, until you find your home in Him.  In Him we live and move and have our being, and even as the world swirls and changes and calls to us with seemingly endless options, He will guide you through and light the path that is uniquely yours - the one He planned for you from before creation.  The one He uniquely formed you to live.  This is truth my child.  I would not lie to you or ever point you toward false hope.  I am praying that this year He will ignite in you a fire that drives you to seek Him and find Him true.

God is Faithful

Well, my alarm is set for 4am . . . I typically hit snooze twice and get up @ 4:20 . . . but I've been awake since 3 . . . I made REALLY strong coffee yesterday and sipped it off and on til bedtime . . . NOT the best idea . . . my mind has been reeling since I woke with memories from childhood, young adulthood, motherhood right on up to today . . . things that happened that hurt and confused me, lies I accepted and told myself in order to cope . . . choices I've made for various reasons that I knew were wrong, but I went ahead anyway. . . people I've hurt, disappointed, failed . . .

But what also came to mind was a song . . . part of it goes "never once did I ever walk alone; never once did You leave me on my own; You are faithful, God, You are faithful . . . SO grateful for that truth  - where would I be without Him? 

And the imagery of the Potter . . . "you have things turned around - shall the clay say to the Potter 'You don't know what You're doing!' " and "the Potter was making a vessel, and the vessel was marred in the Potter's hand . . . so He made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the Potter to make" . . . Oh SO grateful that I have always been in HIS hand, and that He is the expert of creating and RE-creating!!! 

Even more grateful when I think that the very fact that He has never left me alone, and that He creates and recreates me tell me that I am valuable to Him . . . and if God finds me valuable enough to always be with me and to shape, train, discipline, teach, make, mold, prune, counsel, comfort, encourage and love - not just in word but in all these caring actions - then I must accept that I am valuable indeed . . . warts and all, failures and all, bullheadedness and all . . . ]

God, help me to live as one supremely loved by You today . . . and thank You that every person who reads these words is loved and called valuable by You just as much as I am . . . You are great and mighty and good . . . what is man that You are mindful of us?

50 Shades . . . Been there, done that . . .

This won't be a post on my adventures in the world of sexual deviancy . . . by "been there, done that" I'm referring to humanity's age-old mishandling of good and evil.  This is nothing new, just shinier packaging.  Inside this movie is the same old thing - evil, disguised as tantalizing but harmless, ready to taint your mind, your heart, your soul and your relationships.  

The title clearly states where the author is taking you - there is no right and wrong, no good and evil, no black and white - only shades of gray.  This has been the lie we have fallen for from the beginning.  And anyone who has tested the boundaries of this lie can tell you that there IS right and wrong, good and evil, black and white, and they wish they had never gone there . . . 

They CAN tell you, but they may not be ready to admit it themselves, and instead find themselves posturing and posing, running and talking as fast as they can to prove they weren't wrong, they weren't foolish to trade away their innocence, their trust, their purity.  

What do I want to tell you?  Let me try answering some of the statements I've heard thrown around:

There is no right or wrong - no one can tell anyone else what they should or shouldn't do.  Really?  Do you realize that this statement contradicts itself?  Essentially, this means it is WRONG for people to say there are standards of conduct; that is it RIGHT for everyone to decide for themselves.

If realizing that entire argument shoots itself in the foot isn't enough for you to disregard it, let's continue a bit.  And let's stay with sexuality.  You would like to accept the premise that everyone has a right to choose what they do, and who they do it with.  OK.  How about an adult with a child?  Is that alright?  If the child says yes, is it ok?  What if we go with the major theme of 50 Shades, and I ask you if it's alright for a man to hurt a woman because it excites him - is that ok?  If she says he can, are you comfortable with it now?  If he says it's for her own good - that he is introducing her to new levels of enjoyment, excitement and experience - should she trust him and go along?  Picture your daughter, your mother, your best friend - are you comfortable imagining them consenting to being whipped, beaten or violated with foreign objects for the sake of a man's pleasure?

I stopped short of really making you uncomfortable, but hopefully I went far enough for you to realize that instinctively you know there are behaviors that are simply wrong.  Motivation, intent, trust, betrayal, honor, dishonor, protection, humiliation, power, control, degradation . . . these all play into sexual conduct.  How we treat each other matters - especially in the most intimate of encounters.

Sexual expression was designed by God to be given and experienced between two people who have committed to love, cherish and honor each other for a lifetime.  In that setting, it is reasonable and safe to expose the deepest part of our being to the person we have come to know is worthy of our trust.  There we can explore together that which excites and creates pleasure, knowing that each of us are protecting the safety and well-being of the other.

What's it going to hurt?  (to watch this movie, to push the boundaries, to take my pleasure wherever and with whomever I choose, etc)  Would you be willing to eat dinner with me if I told you that I'd sprinkled "just a little" arsenic on your serving?  Just a little - not enough to hurt you.  Go ahead.  Enjoy - try something new!  I trust your answer would be no - you know better than to eat something that you KNOW is toxic - no matter how small the amount, you're not willing to take it into your body.  No matter how much I wheedle, cajole, badger, humiliate, shame, hound, tempt or pester you - you'd protect yourself, right?  

Do you know that your body can become desensitized to arsenic?  If it were sprinkled on your food a little at a time, you may get sick at first, but over time, your body would develop a tolerance for it.  If the amount and the frequency of delivery were slowly increased, eventually the accumulation of poison in your body would reach a toxic level and you would die. 

There is the danger.  Think of any behavior that eventually gets distorted beyond recognition, or habitual beyond control.  No one starts out saying "I think I'll gamble away all of our life savings."  "I think I'll drink until all my relationships have been destroyed along with my liver."  "I think I'll have sex so freely that I'll become diseased, bitter, calloused and have no sense of personal worth or value left, and no relationships either."  

What you see, you can't unsee.  Remember the Garden of Eden?  The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil?  Before they ate of it, Adam and Eve were naked as jaybirds and completely comfortable with that.  They were innocent.  They walked in trust and openness and confidence before each other and before God.  Remember the words of the enemy?  Did God really say you shouldn't eat from it?  He's holding out on you!  He knows that when you eat from it, you will become like Him!!!  HE knows good and evil - why shouldn't you?    Remember the first things they did after eating?  They recognized they were naked and made hasty (yet ineffective for the long term) coverings for themselves, and they hid from God.  Great results.  Their innocence is gone.  Their confidence is gone.  Their trust and comfortability - gone.  

There is NOTHING new with sin, people.  Sin ALWAYS takes you farther than you planned to go, keeps you longer than you planned to stay, and costs you far more than you EVER planned to pay.  Trust me.  Been there, done that.  And I love you enough to risk looking like a fool for saying it out loud.  

There IS right and wrong.  There IS good and evil.  There IS black and white.  Yes, there are also shades of gray, but your sexuality is not one of them.  Listen to the language God uses:  Can a man heap coals of fire in his lap and not get burned?  FLEE sexual immorality:  all other sins happen outside yourself - sexuality happens INSIDE you.  Protect your heart.  Guard your soul.  Cherish your body.  Choose who you will serve - and live.

Love yourself enough to use your head.

Thinking about THE Church and all the different 'churches' that claim Jesus . . .

I remember hearing a 'joke' once, about a man who has been stranded for years on a desert island, and is finally discovered by another man.  Before they depart in the rescuer's boat, the survivor wants to show him what he's built on his island.  He shows him his home, and his church - the place he built to worship God.  He prays a last prayer at the altar, and turns to head toward the boat.  The man stops him, and points to a third structure that they didn't visit.  "What's that?" he asks.  "Oh, that!" says the survivor.  "That's the OTHER church - I NEVER go there!" . . .  

It is interesting to think about the state of 'the church' vs all the denominations who claim Christ . . . I think it is more accurate to think about the actual body of Christ vs man's attempts to follow God . . . I tend to relate this to the fact that there was a remnant within the Israelites that followed God in their hearts vs the organized activity and teachings in the synagogues . . . the prophets spoke to the nation, but the message was to each individual's heart . . . Jesus challenged individuals as well.  Yes, we are to participate in the church, but my responsibility is to make sure that MY heart is right with God, that MY life is lived in obedience to Him.  Jesus' answer to the question 'what is the greatest commandment?' - "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength; and the second is like it:  love your neighbor as yourself.  On this hangs ALL the law and the prophets."

I do not believe that the church will ever be a perfect reflection of Him on this earth because of the frailty of our flesh . . . we each struggle daily with living worthy of our calling; when we function collectively, those struggles are multiplied exponentially.  The Holy Spirit within us is fully capable of doing anything and everything perfectly, but God gives us the right and responsibility of exercising our will - to believe we are able to find a group of people on earth who are ALL collectively submitting to the control, direction and purpose of the Father and therefore living out the "true" church is a deception of pride straight from the enemy - one of the proofs of that statement is the fact that whenever we 'feel' that we have found that church, we also come to believe that everyone else who is worshiping differently is 'wrong' . . . yet it is not our calling to judge others . . .

Discerning false teaching is absolutely our call; proclaiming truth is absolutely our call; to say that I'm living truth and you're not is NOT our call, it is the Holy Spirit's.  A preacher once said that a man can truly be humble up until the point that he calls himself humble . . . then he has become proud.  That line is so fine as to be able to be walked only by the GodMan Himself, and I dare not believe that I, another individual, or a group of individuals has somehow risen to that level.

I believe that all of us who genuinely desire to follow God are being led by His Holy Spirit, but the fact that we are each still in the process of being transformed into His image, that is, being sanctified, means that there are things about me that are NOT in line with His image, His being.  I still have distortions of thought, lies that I am held captive to - often unaware, due to my own blind spots, conditioning, or societal justification; these things are continuously being revealed to me by God as I meet with Him in His word - He brings truth to bear and exposes the lies, but then I must be willing to turn from that which I have known, reject it and submit to His truth - and that is not an instantaneous process.  I am justified by faith - completely; but He who began a good work in me is seeing it to completion in Christ as I am transformed by the renewing of my mind.  I thank Him that His mercies are new every morning, because without His grace I would be lost and without hope, as there is no good thing in me . . . I am but dust, but I am His dust; and when He has tested me - and sifted me - I will come forth as gold - not because of me, but because of His work in me. 

All that to say - I am not representing Christ perfectly; NO human on earth is representing Christ perfectly, therefore NO church on earth is representing Him perfectly either. 

He said "I will build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it."  He promised that His followers would be more in number than the stars.  He states that people from every nation will follow Him.  That is the church - it is universal and supernatural.  We meet in local bodies of believers, and we have strengths and weaknesses in those groups . . . we have a mixture of truth and error in our attempts to live out our faith . . . often because of personal bias, preference and even prejudice . . . But THE CHURCH in reality is the collection of individuals whose hearts are set on Him - and we are scattered all over the planet, throughout all generations, and members of many different 'denominations' - He is our head, He is the Word, He convicts of us of our sin, leads us in paths of righteousness, causes passion for truth to burn within us parallel with compassion on the multitudes who have been deceived by the enemy.  The enemy would like us to be distracted by accusing each other of error - but that is to participate in his evil work - he is the accuser of the brethren.  The Bible is the sword of the Spirit - it is to be wielded against the enemy, not against each other - in order that truth may be recognized and captives set free by it.  Jesus said that if He is lifted up, He will draw all men to Himself.

He states that "narrow is the way that leads to life, and few who find it", but those of us who find it recognize that He found us - that is why we are never glad to recognize how many people remain deceived by the enemy, never proud that we "get it" and they don't . . . 'we' have been pursued by God Almighty, and even our faith is a gift from Him.  He is not willing that any should perish, and neither should I be.  Any concern I have about 'error' in the teaching of a person or a church should be motivated by my love of Truth, and my belief that only the Truth can set men free. 

Here is Truth:  that God is utterly Holy; He is sovereign; He is the Creator and all of Creation, including every human being throughout time, is subject to Him - whether we 'believe' that or not.  Man was never intended to live separate of God; separation is the result of sin, which every human is guilty of.  We don't 'die' physically when we sin, and therefore we become deceived into thinking that nothing has changed, that we are indeed 'alive' . . . what we fail to recognize is that we have become separated from Life Himself, God, and therefore are actually the 'living' dead.  Without a sacrifice being made to cover our sins, there can be no forgiveness, no reconciliation to God, no restoration of genuine life.  Jesus Christ became flesh - fully God/fully human, lived a perfect, sinless life, and offered Himself as a sacrifice for all the sins of mankind.  His shed blood satisfied the requirement of the sacrifice of a pure life to pay the debt of sin.  Any human being who acknowledges Jesus Christ as God and His sacrifice as the substitutionary payment for sin can ask Jesus to cover them with His blood.  That person's sins are then atoned for, full forgiveness of sin (past and future, since this debt was paid prior to most of our lifetimes) is granted, the Holy Spirit is imparted to dwell within this individual and he becomes subject to Jesus as the Lord of his life.  (This, I believe, is the missing emphasis of most evangelistic messages - Jesus Christ is Lord AND Savior . . . NOT Savior only . . . If one is unwilling to submit to Him as Lord that person should seriously question whether or not he has truly received Him as Savior - He is both.  One who has been forgiven is indwelt with the Spirit and therefore aware as never before of their sin nature, their tendency toward sin, and the absolute necessity of reliance on the power of the Holy Spirit within him to keep him from sinning.  Believers are also aware that this is a constant struggle, that we continue to sin, and must confess our sin, repent - that is turn from it - and seek God's power to live victorious over that sin continuously, as a matter of day to day living as long as we are on this earth.)  Our purpose on earth is to glorify God - that is, to live in such a way that reflects God's glory - His power in us and through us, and points men to God.  This world will eventually pass away, and those who come to Him throughout all generations will one day inhabit a new world together, living in unity with Him and each other in a life that is free of sin. 

That is the truth that cannot be compromised - everything else is shades of grey, areas of hair-splitting and the devil's playground that tempts our pride to unite with some and scorn others - all distracting from God's purpose of calling forth a people to Himself. 

What to write about . . .

My mind is SO full of so many things I'd like to write about that I end up not writing anything!!!  

So I thought I'd post my 2nd memory verse for the year;  I've joined a bunch of ladies from my church in encouraging each other to memorize 24 verses a year - two @ month.  What nourishment it is to visit the FB page and just read verse after verse that people are memorizing - washes my soul with the greatness of God and His promises, directions and truth, feeds my mind, energizes my heart!

My current one is Isaiah 58:11,12 "The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones; you shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. Those from among you shall build the old waste places; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; and you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, the Restorer of Streets to Dwell In."

I come from a family of amazing people who struggle greatly with how to love themselves and each other . . . the cry of my heart is for each of them to find peace with God . . . my fantasy is that we would one day actually 'be' a family before our time here is gone . . . 

But the loudest cry of my heart is for my children and grandchildren to know God, to follow Him, and to find strength, joy and life in each other as family.  This verse calls to me HUGELY in the second half - oh to see waste places built, strong foundations laid, breaches repaired and streets restored so people can dwell there!!!  Yes God - Yes!  Please bring this to pass!

Yet I find myself skipping quickly over the words of the first half - it is hard for me to accept help.  I learned early to depend on myself . . . my family was very busy handling all the turmoil we constantly dwelt in . . . no pity sought here, that's simply how it was.  The trouble is my continual tendency to depend on myself . . . to have a hard time working with others . . . bristling at accepting help or assistance . . . even with God.

Here He promises to guide me continually, to satisfy my soul, to strengthen my bones - to BE water springing up within me!  But I need to LET Him . . . one thing I've always loved about God is that He is a perfect gentleman . . . He NEVER forces Himself on anyone, even when it would be for their own good!  He offers Himself and allows us to choose . . . and even when we come to Him He doesn't take over and demand obedience . . . He draws us with His kindness, He woos us with His love . . . He continually speaks of new ways, HIS ways, reminding us that we were NEVER meant to try to live separate of Him.  Life separate from God is an illusion - to experience life is to live as a branch connected to the vine, drawing all water and nourishment from Him.

I struggle with this.  And this verse couples my desire for the future of my offspring with my need to be vulnerable, dependent and trusting in my involvement with God . . . to open myself up to Him, believing that He not only knows what I need but will indeed provide it; to choose to spend time sitting quietly before Him so that He can indeed pour into me of His being, fill my mind with His thoughts, my heart with His passions and compassions, believing that He simply wants to BE with me, and have me being with Him.  

So that's where I start my day today . . . and I welcome your prayers as I seek to open myself more and more to God.  Praying that you seek Him in your day today too!

Charles Stanley New Year's Devotional

As the year draws to a close and you look at the possibilities ahead of you, what is it that seems impossible? What has the Lord called you to do that appears far beyond your ability to achieve? You may not see how it could ever work out, but God does. And He will assume full responsibility for your needs as you obey Him.

So how can you remain in the center of God’s will as you anticipate His provision?

First, seek the Father’s guidance and submit to His direction.

Second, keep your focus on the Lord’s character rather than your circumstances by recalling His victories. 

Third, cultivate a godly life by meditating on Scripture.

Finally, praise the Lord for His intimate involvement in every detail of your life.

Your heavenly Father wants the very best for you, and He will never lead you astray. So stay in the center of His will—watching for His activity and expecting Him to work on your behalf. Because with Him directing you, nothing will be impossible.

Lord, I know You will fulfill all Your promises to me. Thank You for leading me in the way I should go. Amen.

In His presence . . . expect His direction and provision.
    
~Every Day in His Presence - Charles Stanley.

Looking Toward the New Year

I just spent an inordinate amount of time searching pictures of people ignoring each other so I could share them with you . . . and then there's this summary statement:

 

As I'm looking toward the New Year, I'm thinking about what I'd like to see change in myself.  Of course I want to be transformed further into the likeness of my Lord, Jesus Christ.  Much of that is accomplished by God as I spend time with Him in prayer, and fill my mind with His word - we become like those we spend the most time with.  But there are also conscious decisions that I can make to emulate Him in my behavior.

One of my favorite observations of Jesus as I read the gospels happens whenever I picture His face in my mind.  Read an account of Him speaking to the multitudes, or addressing someone specifically;  where do you picture the focus of His eyes?  Directly on whomever He is listening or speaking to, right?  His full attention is given to the people He is with - they know that He sees them, that He is listening to them, that He is speaking directly to them.

What about us?  It is shocking how often we ignore each other even when we're right next to each other!  We don't look at each other, we don't speak to each other - it's as if we are pretending we don't realize the other person is there.  Do you sense the coldness of that?  The impersonality, the isolation, the unnecessary loneliness . . . the unspoken messages "you have no value", "I can't be bothered", "I don't recognize you as important to me"?  

Several years ago I began consciously to choose to look people in the eye and initiate conversation with them.  This actually started in the grocery store;  I began noticing older women, senior citizens, who were usually shopping alone.  I remember one in particular; she had carefully applied a pretty shade of lipstick, some blusher and pearl earrings.  I couldn't resist:  I said "That lipstick is such a pretty shade on you - it really picks up on the sparkle in your eyes!"  The radiance of her smile as she said thank you just flooded my heart.  How could I fail to continue to repeat this simple act of acknowledgement?  So now, every senior woman who crosses my path in the grocery store is certain to hear from me - about her scarf, the color of her coat, how beautiful her skin is, how nice it is to see her today.  Try it - you won't believe how pleasant it is!

Now I work at Panera, and I'm often at the cash register.  I am still surprised by how many people will order without even looking at me, or expecting me to look at them!  Now I pride myself on being efficient and taking people's orders quickly - I realize that they probably have a time limit and need to move along.  But there is plenty of time for me to look directly in their eyes, smile, offer a compliment or a pleasant word about enjoying their meal or the rest of their day.  

When we accept Jesus' gift of forgiveness of our sins and a relationship with God through Him, we become His dwelling place through the presence of His Holy Spirit.  We are now His hands, feet, eyes, mouth and voice - how can we help but use these to do as He would do?  To look directly at people, smile, speak with a warm and pleasant voice, walk alongside them and use a gentle touch to show them that they matter - these are acts of service to my God, honoring Him as I honor the people He has made, that He cares so deeply about.  

So as I approach 2015, I am recommitting to acknowledging people, making eye contact and simple conversation.  How about you?  Try compliments - nothing is easier!  I will add this disclaimer though - I save my sweetest, warmest compliments for women . . . I happen to love color, so sometimes I will remark about the colors or pattern of a man's tie, the brightness of his eyes, or the ease of his smile.  But 99% of the time when I compliment a man directly about himself, he's a senior citizen. For most other men, I try to compliment behavior - such as the gallantry or courtesy of holding a door for an older woman, or deferring to a mom with kids, allowing her to go before him in line.  Just sayin' . . . 

So brush up on your compliments and observations, and let them flow freely - you'll be pleasantly surprised, and those who encounter you will be glad that they did!  Offer this up as a gift to God of interaction with others and see where He takes you.